Esquire magazine ranks Baltimore as No. 25 on its list of “79 Things We Can All Agree On.” Nice. But, wait, what does that really mean?

In the story’s intro, it explains, “There are some things that, regardless of party, religion, or class, we can agree are great, lousy, true, false, beautiful, stupid, delicious, or crazy.”

Uh oh. Guess where Baltimore falls in that mix? The headline says it all: “Baltimore … Is America’s Next Great Underdog City.”

New Orleans, David Simon, and Newark, NJ, are mentioned in our section, too.

It reads: “But because its death spiral has been slow … it has continued virtually unnoticed by the rest of the country. Even Newark gets more attention. Which Baltimoreans might actually prefer. This city, even in its decay, has a sweat-soaked, beer-stained, grim-faced cool to it.”

Grim-faced cool. We can live with that. And this.

“Baltimore, a city without sentiment, without much...

Okay, so it's an attention grabbing headline. It also just happens to be true. (Will you look at that photo? Just look at it!)

So why is Michael Phelps half-naked in the shower? (Not that we're complaining.) Well, the bottle of head & shoulders in his hand is your first clue.

In conjunction with the 2012 London Olympics, Phelps has partnered with the global shampoo brand to promote their "Wash WIth Confidence" campaign. On the shampoo's Facebook page—now featuring Phelps as the profile pic—you can "shower" (see what they did there?) the Olympics athletes "with support."

Also, for every "Like" the page gets, $1 will be donated to the Michael Phelpls Foundation. We'd say there's nothing flaky about this campaign. (See what we did there?)

With apologies to The Onion:

After an unusually brutal winter that forced some Baltimoreans to occasionally wear a coat and even a hat, the region now braces for its biggest challenge  yet: The Flurrypocalpyse.

The forecast, which calls for scattered snowflakes, has most of Baltimore preparing for a thorough and debilitating dusting.

“I’ll probably be able sweep the snow off my porch and car with a broom,” says Bill Denning, of East Baltimore. “But I may have to use a trowel or a spade. I guess this is why we train.”

Jane O’Reilly, of Essex, is worried that her sunflowers, which blossomed beautifully in early January, won’t be able to handle temperatures that might dip dangerously into the mid-30s.

“I’m freaking out a little,” she admits.

Says CEO of city schools Dr. Andres Alonso, “We are obviously monitoring the situation with great concern. We don’t want our students getting wet—or worse still—frizzy hair.”

Notes 6-year-old Owen...

Don't look now, but The New York Times is touting Governor O'Malley as a potential candidate in the 2016 Democratic Primary. (I know. . . already?) After a—let's face it—somewhat disappointing speech at the 2004 Democratic Convention, O'Malley has been slowly gaining political poise and confidence, raising his profile nationally and representing his party regularly on the Sunday morning chat shows. But The Times pits him against a potential all-star field that includes Hillary Rodham Clinton, Gov. Andrew Cuomo, and Elizabeth Warner. So do you think O'Malley has what it takes to compete?

Photo: The New York Times